When did Childhood and Parenthood become so busy?

Yesterday, my whole family went out together -- the five of us.

We went somewhere in Singapore, spent time together, and simply enjoyed being out.

And this, which is something that is supposed to be normal, felt strangely unfamiliar.

I’m not sure exactly when it started, but for quite some time now, my weekends have revolved around bringing my three kids to different classes. With three children and three different schedules, there is always someone who needs to be somewhere. So for most weekends, and many weekday evenings after school, we spend time driving them for some sort of classes, waiting, picking them up, and then repeating the cycle.

And somehow, this has become normal. And in fact, this is normalised.

When I talk to other parents with children around the same age, I hear the same thing. Weekends are not filled with family activities, instead it's filled with tuition or some other enrichment classes.

With three children, finding a time when all three are actually free at the same time is becoming surprisingly difficult.

Which makes me wonder: Is this really what childhood and parenthood is all about?

I understand why I do what I do.

Of course I want my children to do well in their exams. If tuition helps prepare better for an exam, then yes, I'll enroll them into it.

Then for enrichment, we sign them up for activities because we want them to learn something beyond academics. And maybe  that enrichment could eventually become a skill, an interest, or even an advantage.

I sometimes feel like we are already quite relaxed  (or not doing enough) compared with some of the parents around us.  Some of our friends are actively helping their children work towards one DSA pathway or another. Others are building up portfolios, entering competitions, collecting certificates of achievements and so on. We are already not doing that. 

But even then, their calendars are getting pretty full. And their childhood is simply going from one class to another, plus two vacations overseas per year. 

And that brings me back to yesterday. A family outing on Sunday, shouldn't it be a norm?  When did it become so rare.

I am rethinking some of the enrichments, maybe, it's time to cut off some of the things, and make time for free time. Spending free time meaningfully might be a better enrichment.

How to be Frugal without feeling it

I watched on CNA Insider how Colin Lau managed to retire at 35 when he was retrenched, and had lived so since then. He did so by living below his means, and monetizing a home that he bought at a low price. His formula was simple, buy a home you can afford, monetize it through rental, then live frugally enough so that the rental covers his expenses. With homeownership at 91.2% in 2025 in Singapore, we can follow this strategy to retire once (1) mortgage is fully paid for (2) we become landlords (3) we live frugally enough so that our rental income is more than expenses. But Colin's success is still a minority in our society because his secret to success is simple, but not easy. 

And I think I know the reason why Colin could do this with seeming ease. This could be found in finance Youtuber, Seth's hour long interview with Colin Lau where he shared his journey to retirement, and his journey since. In that video, what caught my attention was Colin's comments on mental hobbies.

Colin mentioned that his retirement was filled with fulfilment as he is engaged in his mental hobbies. He even mentioned that he wrote down the things he wanted to do, and he can't finish them all, there's just too much of them. For example, he shared that he wanted to teach piano until he taught Grade 8, which he fulfilled. Most of his hobbies are mental hobbies, are (almost) free, and that's why he doesn't need to spend so much. 

Isn't he like the muggers back in my school days. It always amazes me how they could be so engrossed in studies that they are nonchalant to the commotion in class, or the juicy gossips. I have a feeling Colin is also very engrossed in learning and his other activities, that he has little time to think of consumption, and that explains his very low expenses. It's like during my final year in University, when I was just trying to complete my final year project (FYP), and spend the last few months just working in the lab, and ignoring everything else. Consumption was low, because I only wanted to eat and drink to survive and spend all other time on the project. He probably is frugal as his focus is not on consumption, as he is preoccupied with his hobbies, which happen to require almost no consumption.

After watching the video, and reflecting on myself, I realized why I have been spending more. I do not have hobbies or activities that I am highly engrossed in at the moment, so when I am free, I will look at travel sites, and plan the next travel, or go on shopping apps, and find the inspiration for my next purchase. 

In short, maybe the trick to frugality is to find a free (or almost free) hobby that you truly like and will completely absorb you, then your thoughts will be on this activity. Suddenly, a lot of unnecessary expenses disappears.

Why I am Restarting This Blog

I haven't written here for years, and I'm restarting this blog. 

Recently, my son was absent from school. Instead of messaging his teacher that he's absent as he is not well, I first told ChatGPT to draft a message to the teacher telling him that my son is unwell and will be absent from school that day. Then I took ChatGPT's response and messaged the teacher. What could have been a simple one-step process, became a 2-step process. Was I more efficient in this case? Not really, because I had to tell ChatGP the reason, my son's name and the teacher's name to draft the message. Had I written the message directly, I would have used the same amount of time. Had I become more effective in my communication with the use of AI? Definitely not for this case. It's a simple message and little room for miscommunication. On second thought, I couldn't understand why I did what I do. Can you?

And this is a motivation for me to restart this blog that I have not written for years. This is an absolutely ancient blog, started before the age of AI, where I've to type every single word out. Typing till here made me realized how long I have not typed every single word something by myself for a long time. I am so used to giving bullet points and asked for paragraphs from AI that this feels surreal.

While AI is really good for writing -- something that I am not really good at, I am determined to continue churning out words and sentences by myself, and that's simply why I am restarting this blog. 

Because I'm not AI, pardon me for the grammar and spelling errors if you spot any, but I can assure you, every single letter you see is typed by yours truly.