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Fourth Child ?

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By Rena

My youngest turned one a few months back. As I see how his elder brother and sister enjoy playing and being his leader ( I simply mean bossing him around), I thought for a moment whether it would be great for him to have another sibling.

This was a a decision that I made for my eldest and second one. And the decision came easily then. 

But for this time round I was hesitant.

True enough the baby bonus, and CDA benefits are great for 4th child. Though there will be no additional tax benefit for me since I hit the limit. But, these benefits to me, are ' side effects' to my decision. They are never part of my decision.

During the pandemic, I got lots of time with the kids. But I also realized it was just tough to give all of them attention at the same time. My kids learnt less than I could teach if there were fewer kids, and I spent less time due to significant distraction by another ( e.g. diaper change, or just another kid making too much noise, etc.). To me, more kids would be sacrificing the current attention that I can give to any one.

I am getting old. When the kids are at home, whole day, I am exhausted by afternoon. Cannot imagine having more kids.

Another big consideration I have is space. Everyone needs space. Currently all my 3 kids share a single room. And there was once my daughter mentioned that she likes to be home when the brothers are away, as at least, she can play her own toys ( without them being snatched away suddenly). The time will come when the 2 boys want their own space too. I am considering a home with 4 bedrooms. Most new 5 room hdb flat just don't have 4 true blue bedrooms. The 4th room in a five room flat is just an extension of the living room. Perhaps it is big enough for a table but not for a bed with table and storage space. I looked at some condos, but the price for 4 bedroom is out of range for me. What's more, the living space is small. To me, moving to a condo is considered a downgrade if I have to forgo space. The swimming pool, the garden at the condo are  places that belong to just me. While there will be less people competing for such space compared to the public park or pool,  it is not my space.


 I looked at landed and cluster houses too. They are big enough. Now it becomes, whether I want to trade my freedom ( to be able to quit my job when I feel like it) for more physical space. 

Next factor is also related to space. But now it is car space. My sedan can only fit 5. Having more kids would mean a change in car ( or not having it). Not something that I would want to I'm the near future...


So, I guess I will stop at 3.


Main factors that made this decision was space and time.



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